Your Daily Intimacy Journey with God

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As you begin each day on your journey, remember your situations have a greater purpose: intimacy with God, character development, healing of relationships, and their overflow into loving and serving others. See yourself taking one step at a time to develop your daily habits of intimacy within your life experiences. Daily habits are also the steps that you take in any given situation to becoming a stronger, healthier, and wiser you.

Daily Habits: Sit Place, Truth, and Dual Grace

Your daily habit of your “sit place” is always your first step, your first stop. Whatever your situation is, start by sharing your thoughts and feelings with God. Receive His care and comfort as you share and then listen to His voice of truth. If you are using a journal write your thoughts and your feelings first, pause, and then write what He says to you. Remember, His words to you will match the words and principles of the Word of God. Listening to His true words for your particular situation will move you into step two, your daily habit, Truth. Hold on to His true words as you enter into step three, your daily habit of “dual” Grace. Remember and receive daily His love by His sacrificial death for you, reminding yourself you are deeply loved by Him. No matter your circumstances, never let go of His Grace work for you. Also in step three, take His Grace and walk out what He speaks to your heart to do in your present circumstances. Do not exit; listen, trust, and obey His loving, truthful words to you. He is trustworthy and has your very best in mind. These three need to be present no matter what your experience. They will be your greatest strength and help, no matter the storm that may have entered into your world.

Daily Habits: Forgiveness, Healed Hurts, and Grief

As you navigate through steps four through six, embrace your daily habits of forgiveness, healed hurts, and grief. Be faithful to listen to the voice of God and check in by asking yourself: Is there someone I need to forgive, is there a hurt that needs healing, and or is there a loss I need to pause and grieve? Remember, you are working through each and every daily situation through each step to grow your relationship with God, bring healing to your heart, and strengthen your relationships with others.

Daily Habits: Influences of Darkness and Light

Step seven is your daily habit of recognizing with your spirit what spirits of darkness are harassing you. This is a valuable habit to develop to step out from under the influence of lying thoughts and to hold firmly to truth—the truth that will set you free. And then make a commitment to your daily habit, living as a child of Light. Choose to love, forgive, serve with humility, show compassion and mercy, set healthy boundaries, tell yourself the truth, be kind, submit to others as to The Lord, live a holy and pure life, and love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. 

Daily Habits: Growth-Focus and Eight Companions

For steps eight and nine, as you develop your specific growth-focus, take your eight companions with you. They are your life companions and will be with you every step of the way, starting with your sit place with God.

Daily Habits: Spiritual Core and Serving Others with Humility

Step ten has two focuses. Make strong your spiritual core on a daily basis. In your identity, believe what God says is true of you. Believe only His voice, making it your own. Every day, dialogue with God about everything that concerns you. He loves and cares about you. Live your life with integrity. Be committed that your words and behaviors match the life of Christ. The second focus is your daily habit of serving others in humility. Practice in each of your situations to serve others, bending low to lift them up. As you serve them, may they enjoy feeling loved, accepted, encouraged, strengthened, helped, and respected by you. Lastly, remember Acts 20:24: However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace (NIV). Practice this habit within the vision given to you by God and in the ways you serve others daily (your mission).  

Tension Points

Remember, as you move towards intimacy with God step by step, practicing your habits, you will experience tension. The tension is to go to your sit place and meet with God or to ignore the importance of it; or to tell yourself the truth or to hold on to faulty thinking; to forgive or not to forgive; to take the time to ask God to heal a hurt or dismiss your hurt; to deny caring for your grief waves; to neglect to listen to the Holy Spirit as to what spirits are harassing you and choosing to give in to your fleshly desires versus living as a child of Light. Consider the tension to develop a strong core by making time for it in your schedule or to fill up your day with many other seemingly more important activities. There will be the tension to be humble in serving others or to engage in pride, serving yourself. Do not exit when the tension increases. If you do, you will experience comfort, but it is a false comfort leading to compromise. All growth comes from tension. Inviting your companions with you will help you to push through your tension points. Work through the tension with your relationship with God, believing truthfully you are loved and He is your strength and help. 

Companions

Don’t forget to take your companions on your journey. They will help you develop your daily habit in each step you take in your situation. Remember to invite The Life Companion, Jesus, to travel with you. He promises to be with you always. Take note this is not a linear journey, but one that has valleys, peaks, twists, and turns.  As you journey, consider these words from Proverbs, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV).

Emotional Dimension

God desires that your life be built on truth, as He is the God of Truth. As you believe and live in God truth it will become your faith. With your faith in God and His truth to you, He also desires that you experience Him emotionally and relationally. Keep pressing in to hear His voice, guiding you along your life journey in all your decisions. May you experience His presence and His lovingkindness within your life. He wants you to feel helped, strengthen, strong, loved, forgiven, encouraged, and so many other emotions. Never give up, never quit in knowing God in truth and faith, and personally in His deep love for you. It is not about perfection, but progression. As you journey one step at a time through each life situation, inviting God into each one, you will grow in your faith and personally feel connected to Him as the God who loves you and you love Him.

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Spiritual Core

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I hope that you are developing more consistently your intimacy with God, inviting Him in on all of your life circumstances. Where you need to be truthful, you choose to tell yourself the truth; where you need to accept the grace of God, you receive the fullness of His love by His death for you; where you need to forgive, you forgive; where you need healing, you invite the Presence of Jesus to heal your heart; and where you need to grieve, you welcome the God of Comfort to sit with you. I hope that you have a greater understanding of the spiritual forces of darkness and recognize the enemy’s advances in your life, agreeing with the works of Christ, sending them to the cross in Jesus’ Name by the blood of the Lamb. I trust you are choosing to “live as a child of Light,” bringing joy and delight to God’s heart and pursuing a life journey of change and growth.

In this article let’s reflect on four spiritual core values. At the very center of your being are identity, intimacy, and integrity, which then flow out to your fourth core value, humility. You have the most influence when you develop these three at your core and then, like a waterfall, release them to flow in loving others, from a servant’s heart, with humility. It is imperative that you develop a strong core so that you can stand, no matter the storm that may enter your world. Your personality, roles, position, ministry, or finances do not belong in your core because they do not have sufficient sustaining power to deal with a major crisis. Your relationship with God from these three values will provide for you the strength, hope, and help you will need, no matter your challenge.

Identity.

First, your identity is in Christ. This means that your relationship, your position with God, is not based on your works or performance. Your identity as His beloved son or daughter is not based on what you do or don’t do; it is based on what He did for you. You need only to believe and receive His grace. There is no greater identity that will sustain you in all of your life circumstances. 

Your identity consists of God’s truthful words to you about His relationship to you as your God and Creator. The words that were spoken to Daniel by God are true for you too: ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said, ‘for you are very precious to God. Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!’ (Daniel 10:19, NLT). If your parents failed to share with you how much you are loved and valued, how beautiful and strong you are, all that is special about you as a person, it is imperative that you take God at His word and believe Him.  These are His personal words to you: you are God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12, NIV). 

His desire for you has nothing to do with your performance. Believe every word He has to say to you about your value and acceptance, because this is the basis of your identity in Him. You are who God says you are. You are not what your wounds speak to you from past experiences, your personal judgments about yourself, what unhealthy relationships may have conveyed to you, nor what the media portrays to you. You are what God says you are! 

This is your identity: holy and dearly loved. Your identity has been secured by God. It is from this identity that you develop your intimacy, your personal relationship with God. Hold fast to this Scripture: Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. Once you received no mercy; now you have received God’s mercy (1 Peter 2:10, NLT).

Intimacy.

Intimacy is developed from your personal “sit place with God,” your daily, ongoing dialogue with Him. Just as in human relationships, you cannot develop intimacy in human relationships without a deep sharing of your thoughts and feelings; so is it true with God. As you experience life, you share with Him your struggles, worries, fears, challenges, hurts, joys, and desires, trusting His love to care for you and work out all things for your good because you love Him and He loves you. You share with Him your thoughts, your feelings about those thoughts, and your deep desires and longings within each and every daily life experience. Then you choose to listen to His voice through the Holy Spirit, His truthful words reminding you of your secured identity in Him, and trusting what He shares with you in response to what you have shared with Him.

Communication is the dialogue that keeps you connected, no matter your situation. This connection opens up the way for your obedient response. Your obedience is a very powerful dimension of developing intimacy with God. It is similar to your human relationships: when someone shares with you what you can do to care for his heart, you follow through. God values your response in loving Him through your obedience.

Here is one definition of intimacy that may help you along this intimacy journey with God and then with others. Intimacy is the daily awakening in your relationship(s) that leads towards openness, vulnerability, nurturing acceptance, being fully enriched and satisfied in closeness, and a deepening desire and delight to know and be known within the relationship. There is no end to growing intimacy; it is a daily pursuit for a lifetime. Start your intimacy journey with God and then allow it to flow to other trustworthy relationships.

Psalms 34 exemplifies this intimacy: I will bless the Lore at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, And let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! (Psalms 34:1-8, NKJV).

Integrity.

It is from your identity in Christ and your intimacy with Him that you will discover the pathway toward a lifestyle of integrity. This is the third dimension of developing a strong spiritual core. Pursuit of God is your highest calling and the basis of your integrity. Perfection is not the goal. You are only as strong as you believe truthfully and receive gracefully all that God speaks to your heart. This is why your personal relationship with God must be nurtured daily. Only in this relationship will He shape and form you into Christlikeness. From this place of personal intimacy with God, you listen, trust, and obey the words He speaks to you. Obedience is imperative; only full obedience, not partial, is acceptable to God.

Your integrity is revealed in your life by your attitude, character, choices, and responses as displayed in the fruits of the Spirit: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another (Galatians 5:22, 24-26, NKJV).

Your words and behaviors need to match. How you live your life privately needs to be the same publicly. Practice daily these words from the Scriptures: And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us...Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth)...be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:2, 8-9, 18-21, NKJV).

Humility.

Humility is the fourth value that is needed to strengthen your core. It is the outflow of your identity, intimacy, and integrity in your relationship with God. Humility is the bending low to lift up another, the same heart of Christ expressed in Philippians 2: [Christ], being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross (Philippians 2:6-8, NIV). As James reminds us, God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6, NKJV).

Humility is your heart’s attitude in serving others. Here are a few more examples: medical teams serve in places where they give of their time and assets to those who could never repay them. It is also shown when a family of five will care for another family of five children so their parents can have some time away. Or when monies saved for a family vacation are given away due to another’s need for moving expenses and much needed car repairs. Serving others from the place of humility puts value on him or her. There is no greater gift of humility to offer to another than to honor them as God-created individuals in sharing in their needs.

As you continue to strengthen your spiritual core every day, humility will be the overflow of your personal relationship with God. Be very mindful that it is the outflow, separate from your identity, but linked. It is an honor to serve and love others. It is important to learn to bless others’ giftedness and accomplishments, focusing on their growth and betterment, versus undermining them with negativity and fault-finding. The enemy will do that very well without your help. You do not want to be in agreement with the enemy, but in agreement with God, choosing to forgive, pray, serve, love, and help one another on life’s journey. Together, you can each lead by example, growing and learning from each other. Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done (Matthew 16:24-25, 27, NIV).

Your Vision Statement

One last thought for you to consider in serving others: I believe God created you with a vision for your role in the kingdom of God. Within that vision is your mission: how you walk out your vision in serving others. I encourage you to write down your vision statement given to you by God: the one thought that defines you. Keep it short; perhaps a few words will capture it. Some examples are: restored relationships, worship warrior, financial carrier, or creative. Then write down your mission: the ways you walk it out daily in your life. For example, mine is restored relationships and how I walk it out is in five ways: counseling, mentoring, teaching, writing, and praying. Remember that not all will be present in all seasons of life. You gradually will learn the ways to walk out your vision as you day after day, year after year, walk with God.

Permanence

One last word: “permanence.” I want to speak to this most powerful word as you continue on your God journey. Permanence is defined as “the quality or state of being permanent” or lasting.8 In other words, what you see is who I am consistently: the only change from day to day is I get better and better over time! 

A life of permanence is a consistent lifestyle of growth and betterment, nurtured by daily habits of well-being. It is important to reflect to the watching world the life of Christ in our daily responses to life experiences. It is not putting on a Sunday dress, but wearing our everyday life values both privately and publicly. What the world needs to see from morning to night is Christlikeness. What the world (your husbands, wives, children, bosses, co-workers, neighbors, and all others) sees in our daily habits must be the very essence of our being. It is how we live our lives day in and day out; what is seen in the open places is the same behind closed doors. Only then can we have influence for greater growth and betterment to the world around us.

Permanence is not an ongoing striving towards perfection. It is a daily progression of Christlikeness.

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Truth Life Preserver

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Truth is like a life preserver. The purpose of a life preserver, of course, is to prevent drowning. If you are sent plunging into stormy waters, you will hang onto that life preserver because your life depends on it.

Truth is every bit as essential to your well-being. Without truth at the core of your being and your belief system, you are vulnerable to distortions and deceptions. And when life throws you into an emotional, raging sea, truth will be your life preserver while you are waiting for rescue.

Three truths are fundamental to establish a solid foundation of truth:    

1. God is the author of truth: Into Your hand, I commit my spirit, O God of Truth (Ps. 31, NIV). 
2. He wants you to know the truth about His love for you and to know yourself in light of it: He desires truth in the inner parts (Ps. 51:6, NIV).    
3. Knowing the truth will liberate you from the lies and deceptions which oppress you and hinder you from fulfilling your God-given destiny: The truth will set you free (John 8:32, NIV).

The God of Truth

Scripture says, It is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18, NIV). Every word God speaks is true, so you can trust Him to lead you safely and wisely through life’s twists and turns. Truth is very powerful, whether you believe it or not. Truth believed is life-changing.  A lie, on the other hand, has no power until you believe it, but when you do, it will usually distort your view of yourself, or others, or God. This is why it is imperative to know and trust the God of Truth.

Truth in the Inner Parts

"He loves me and desires to have personal, intimate relationship with me" is the most powerful truth that God wants you to believe. It is God's heart that you would experience His great love as the foundation to all other truth. See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. This is how we know that we belong to the Truth and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence (1 John 3:1, 16, 18, 19, NIV).  It is essential that you daily activate this greatest of all truths, “He loves me,” by inviting this truth into the core of your person.  

Set Free by Truth

The divine purpose of believing truth is to be set free! Remember, thinking or confessing truth is not the same as believing truth at the core of your person. The exchange of faulty believing for truthful believing in the inner parts will help you become healthier mentally and emotionally, make constructive, positive choices, and develop meaningful relationships.

As you believe the truth that matches God’s truth, that truth will change your behavior over time. What you believe is what you will do! The highest purpose to believing truthfully is to bring permanence of change, whether that is to leave behind depression, anxiety, addiction, anger, fear, worry, negativity, or whatever your challenge is. Do not stop; do not give up until you arrive at the door of "set free," which then opens to a door of opportunity for your greater growth.

Beginnings of Everyday Thoughts

As children journey through life, fears and insecurities enter in through hurt and pain. Each of those experiences is linked to an unconscious thought. These thoughts go undetected because children lack the ability to process them cognitively and are more connected to what they feel, thus believing that what they feel must be true. In addition, parents are often more focused on appropriate behaviors versus giving consideration to what their child may believe internally. Therefore, these messages move from childhood to adulthood becoming what I call everyday thoughts. 

These everyday thoughts are also known as your self-talk; and if distorted, they usually take the form of your negative I am’s, I cannot’s, what if’s, and should or shouldn't statements.  Some examples: I am unlovable, I am undeserving, I am unworthy, I can’t succeed at anything, I can never trust again, I cannot forgive, what if I fail?, what if he leaves?, she should not have left me, he should be more helpful, they should have been more responsible.

Often under the influence of fear and insecurity, these everyday thoughts, faulty and negative, are accepted as "truth." From this distortion of truth, you develop a faulty belief system about your personal life and relationships, and adopt faulty premises from which you make life decisions, marring both your present and future. It is important to recognize that if this faulty believing is at the core of your life, it will be reflected in unhealthy, negative, and destructive emotions, behaviors, and choices. Put another way, when you are engaged in destructive or negative behaviors, you can be sure there is faulty self-talk or lies behind them. Therefore, to live lives of healthy well-being, it is crucial to exchange these distortions for truthful believing.

Assess Your Self-Talk

It is important to assess your everyday thoughts about yourself or others in your self-talk. Too often faulty thoughts will enter in, and you find yourself reacting in ways you didn’t intend or are destructive. It is important to train yourself, when your emotions begin to escalate, to stop and ask yourself, “What am I believing or telling myself here?” Ask the Holy Spirit to put His finger on the untruth you are believing. So begin by eavesdropping on yourself!  Is it really true that you are “never going to amount to much?” Is it really true that you are not as good/smart/beautiful/successful as your sister/brother? Is it really true that you are always going to be taken advantage of?  

The vital question you must ask yourself is: do my thoughts match God’s thoughts? As you believe the truth that matches God’s truth, that truth will change your behavior over time. What you believe is what you will do! Truth in your inner parts will set you free in your emotions, behaviors, choices, relationships, and your destiny. It is a worthy endeavor to pursue truth at the core of your being, the most important one being: He loves me, no strings attached, unconditional, and there is nothing required of me but to just believe it and receive it.

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Sit Place

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How willing are you to risk being open and vulnerable in sharing the hidden parts of your internal world with another human being?  With yourself?  With God? How often do you keep parts of you hidden: your dreams, desires, hurts, mistakes, sins, or struggles for fear of judgment or rejection? How often do you share only parts of you, because other parts of you have a Do Not Enter sign written on them, or they are locked away, and you don't believe you have the key to unlock them?
 
How many times can you remember when you have shared personal, private information of yourself and encountered judgment or rejection? We live in a society that values everyone for their performance. We are evaluated, appraised, judged, and ranked every day, even sometimes by those we love.  We are under constant pressure therefore to perfect our performance.  We believe a perfected performance equals greater acceptance.  But who we are inside, our real self, goes into hiding.  Because we fear rejection and judgment, we choose not to pursue intimacy, not to expose our inner self to another.

The ramifications of this loss of intimacy are great. The greatest loss is the true, real self. What is often left is a masked self, a facade, and often this is the only self we know; we even believe it to be the real, genuine self. Close relationships with others are also difficult, if not impossible, with a false self.  Failure to really know ourselves, as God created us, creates conflict within us and within every other relationship. Until we return to God’s original plan of intimacy, we cannot really know ourselves or live our lives as fully designed.  We will not fulfill our destiny.

The need for intimacy with God is at the very core of your being.  All your beliefs and actions flow from this intimacy.  Your intimate relationship with God determines the health of your own person and every one of your relationships.  God desires that through your intimacy with Him you feel loved, accepted, valued, helped, strengthened, and encouraged.  He wants you to know that every detail of your life matters to Him.  

I have coined “Your Sit Place with Abba God” to emphasize the necessity of setting aside time to be with Abba, Father God.  Setting aside a specific time each day to give your undivided attention to God is the beginning of knowing Him intimately and understanding yourself more deeply in light of the One who made you.  

If you were meeting with a friend or with your spouse to share time together or to encourage or be encouraged, you would not read a book in his or her presence. Nor, I hope, would you be texting on your phone or checking your email!  The same is true in your relationship with Abba God. He desires you to come and sit with Him exclusively.  He desires to listen to you as you share your heart and the stories of your life, while he expresses His care and comfort for you.  

I use this phrase “sit place with God” to also call attention to the importance of establishing a place to be alone with God. Secure a quiet place: your favorite room, a favorite chair - any place where you can come quietly into God’s presence.  You can also visually remember a special place you visited such as the beach, a mountain range, a waterfall, or a bench along a quiet path—returning there in your mind and welcoming God in that place.

What Happens in This “Sit Place with God?”

In your chosen place, meditate quietly, worshipping Him with your heart and giving thanks for His character, His actions, and His awesome love for you. Share your heart with Him and then listen to His heart.  From this “sit place with Abba God” He will express His care for you and give you grace to do your day with Him. In this set aside time, you are present to God and He will become present to you in a real way. This is the foundation of a daily, intimate journey for a lifetime.

Our communion with God is a dialogue, not a monologue. This is not the time where you dump your problems on Him and walk away. This is not healthy for any relationship, much less your relationship with Abba God.  In your “sit place with God," there is dual sharing and listening. Using a journal, write your thoughts and feelings,  pause to listen to God’s voice; then write what God shares with you.

How Do I Hear from God?  How Do I know it is God’s Voice?

Many books have been written on this subject and I encourage you to explore them. I want to give you something tangible to work with now and then encourage you to further your personal study.

The most important way God will speak to you is in your reading of Scripture. His Scriptures are His words to you. Often the Holy Spirit will make them jump off the page, highlight them for you, or He will bring them to your mind when you need encouragement or direction. For example, when you need encouragement He may share with you:

“Trust Me at all times, pour out your heart to Me, I am your refuge.”

— Psalm 62:8 NIV.

Maybe you need wisdom in making a decision, and He shares with you: To seek my wisdom is good. Ask Me. I will give to you generously (James 1:5 NIV).

I believe that you also can hear from your own language with God. Some may hear from a connection with nature, with music, or art; others from intellectual scholars of the past; still others may get words or pictures; and others may have dreams and visions. It is important to remember that what you hear as God’s voice must always line up with the Word of God.

So along with your "sit place with Abba God," it is essential to read the Word of God.  Regular, consistent reading of the Word allows you to recognize His voice and to know His will for your life.  There are many excellent devotionals and Bible reading plans.  Several are mentioned at the end of this chapter.  Choose the plan that best suits you.  Sitting with the God of Truth, nourishing yourself with His words of truth, God will personalize the devotional or Bible reading plan that you choose to speak to your personal and relational challenges.

An Important Note

Remember that your "sit place with Abba God" can occur throughout the day.  In your heart, you can still access that quiet place from which you share your thoughts and feelings with God, and you can still hear His encouraging voice, no matter what you may be doing.  This ability to “sit” with God, anytime or anywhere, is one of the most precious fruits of developing your daily “sit place with God.”  Come to Him expecting that you will hear His voice.

Obedience

The final dimension of developing your "sit place with Abba God" is obedience—walking out whatever truth He speaks to your heart.  Obedience is your response to being loved by God and receiving the words He speaks to you.  John speaks straight forward to this truth: I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love (John 15:9, 10 NLT).  The truth is: love is obedience - obedience is love.  Knowing His true, life-giving words and obeying every word He speaks is what deepens your intimacy with God, sets you free, and opens the way for powerful influence to others.  

Whatever challenges you are facing in your life right now, God wants to encourage you to go to your “sit place” where you can deepen your intimacy with Him and receive His help, encouragement, healing, hope, direction, or what you have need of in your life.  He is waiting to welcome you and share time with you. 

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Personal Growth-Focus Journey

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>>Growth-Focus vs. Goal-Focus

Life is a journey, a daily process towards change, growth, and betterment.  Results are not the only or primary aim. I want to present a broader perspective to you of growth-focus. We live in a culture that focuses almost exclusively on goals and results. Achieving a goal does give results which at times are needed. But if setting and achieving goals is the only way you proceed with your life, you will often get discouraged and quit. Goals have their purpose within the growth-focus, but your eyes must be focused on the growth, not the goals.

Goals usually have an expiration date on them, and though your goal may have been met, there is often a greater need for further growth. Therefore, your pursuit of growth is the greater purpose. To focus on the goal, the step in front of you alone does not create sufficient energy to sustain you on your life-long journey. Goal-focus gives you a narrower view, whereas growth-focus widens your perspective and gives you greater purpose, as well as a deeper, ongoing commitment for your growth and betterment.

>>Some Examples of Growth-Focus

Here are a few examples of what I mean by growth-focus. In marriage, you may choose for your growth-focus to develop a strong marital connection.  Some of your specific goals or steps to journey towards that growth-focus might be to daily express love-communicating behaviors (whatever you decide those are), setting aside a weekly date time, intentionally listening to each other face-to-face, validating each other’s feelings, affirming strengths and behaviors, or solving problems together. The primary focus remains on a strong marital connection, not the steps themselves to achieve it. Or perhaps your growth-focus is improving your physical well-being. Therefore, your steps may be more exercise, better nutrition, good sleep, or stress management. If intimacy with God is your growth-focus, then you may choose to be intentional in developing your “sit place with God,” studying the Word of God, or you may commit to praying for others, forgiving others, taking time to worship God, or sharing life in community.

Over the last 30 years, I have discovered eight valuable companions needed to successfully journey with an emphasis on growth-focus—to finish the race and complete the tasks you and I have in the kingdom of God. I have already discussed two—truth and grace—and now I want to share with you six others: perseverance, tenacity, resilience, perspective, support, and endurance. Here is how I define them.

1. Perseverance

Pressing forward, pushing through the challenge is the essence of perseverance. Perseverance is often needed when you want to break a habit or you are desiring something greater for your life or family. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope (Romans 5:3-4, NKJV). To have a healthy marriage and family, for example, you may have to push through saying no to drinking and yes to shared times with family. Many families are broken and separated due to alcoholism or other addictions.

2. Tenacity

To never give up, to hold firmly to the truth, and to stay on task will demand the strong companion of tenacity. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord (1 Corinthians 15:58, NKJV). Many relationships are unhealthy due to a lack of boundaries. It is important to never give up when a healthy boundary can offer good in a relationship, even though it would be easier to give up or give in. For example, if you are a person who allows others to take advantage of you or get involved in your world without your permission, it is important to communicate your thoughts with them face to face. Share with them what they can and cannot do. Tell them friendship is important to you, but you want them to ask you versus assuming. Keep communicating your yeses and nos. It will produce healthier relationships with those who value relationship with you.

3. Resilience

When the forces of life knock you down, resilience is needed to stand tall and strong beside you, to help you up, to complete the God-given task before you. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace (Acts 20:24, NIV). For example, if you are pursuing financial freedom and you feel knocked down when your car needs major repairs beyond your budget, get back up and challenge yourself to work with your monies and trust God to provide what you don’t have.

4. Support

Life was not meant for us to journey alone. Support is another powerful companion. God reminds you He is with you always and will never leave you on your own. He also encourages you to support one another, to come alongside each other in your joys and struggles. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts (Colossians 3:12, 16, NIV). For example, a husband whose wife has died needs the support of other men to spend time with him in social settings, to pray for him, and check in on him regarding his daily needs during this time of transition. Another example is a single woman desiring marriage. There is much value in married women spending time with her to encourage and pray for her as well as enjoying social times of games, movies, or dinner together.

5. Perspective

The role of perspective is two-fold. It is essential to see your present situation as one part, one step, or one season of your life story. And, secondly, it is important to see your present challenge from God’s viewpoint, from the beginning of your life to its end. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, NIV). For example, many women who are in a “waiting for marriage” stage of their journey have to keep focus on their present season of growth as God speaks it to them as well as being reminded that their life does move from season to season. This season is not their entire life.

6. Endurance

Lastly, and definitely not the least of the eight, is endurance. It is defined as going the distance for as long as it takes to fully and completely experience growth in one part of your journey in order to be prepared for the next step of your journey. Visualize this as a door opening to a long passageway that, if traveled well, opens to another door to another life passageway. Each contributes to specific growth, but linked together, they build on each other. God works all your experiences in the mix of your past, present, and future to grow and develop you. As you journey well, not perfectly, but in agreement with Him, you are able to encourage others to travel alongside you as you pursue being an example to others. Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever (Psalms 125:1, NIV).

Your Journey Out of Darkness

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It is important to understand that there is a real, live battle between God and the forces of darkness for your life. Peter communicates this in I Peter 5:8: …Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (NIV.) In your sit place with Abba God, give Him permission to teach you and give you understanding of the way Satan influences you in your past and present hurts, disappointments, desires, attitudes, thoughts, emotions, choices, and relationships.

I define "darkness" as everything associated with Satan, such as hate, fear, lies, destruction, and judgment; everything that destroys the life of God in His loved people. It is so important for you to be aware of the enemy's strategies to kill, steal, and destroy the life of God in you as John states, The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy... (John 10:10 NIV). To be blind to this truth is to leave yourself open and vulnerable to the enemy's tactics.

>> Satan’s Attack on Your Thoughts

Before you get started I want you to give attention to thoughts and their role as the primary tactic of the enemy. One very important piece of information that I believe Satan wants to downplay is your thought life. This creates the most critical problem for humanity. The first place you see where thoughts play a role in Scriptures is in the very first book of the Bible. It is in the Garden of Eden with Satan having a conversation with Eve.

“Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die. Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.” — Genesis 3:1-6 NKJV

You can see very quickly Eve's thoughts and how they are being influenced by Satan. She begins to question and doubt what has been her truth from God. This is why Paul encourages believers to take captive every thought, …bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (II Corinthians 10:5 NKJV) and to renew your mind, ....be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2 NKJV). Satan's first strategy is your thought life.

Your thought life matters, and it is important that as you learned in Chapter Three, your thoughts need t match the thoughts of God. Too often we neglect to address our thoughts, leaving them open to the influence of Satan and the forces of darkness. Remember Satan is known as the father of lies: When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44 NIV). The opposite is said of God: It is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18 NIV).

Take note of the wisdom from the book of Proverbs, For as he thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7 NKJV). Out of your thoughts and beliefs, thought patterns are developed leading to your behavioral choices, which then impact your relationships. There is no action taken, negative or positive, without being first connected to a thought. Here is your problem, as well as the problem of all mankind.

With this understanding, I want to bring you to another important truth.  Paul states, Who has known the mind of the LORD that he may instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ (I Corinthians 2:16 NKJV). 

>> Strategy to Resist Satan

Having introduced you to the power of your thoughts and Satan’s plan to kill, steal, and destroy the life of God in you, I want to give you a strategy that works and is simple in form, but not necessarily easy to walk out in your humanness. Therefore, you will need to utilize the truth of Chapter Four, "to make good on the grace of God to walk out from your spiritual nature."

Let us look at your role and response and God's role and response in this spiritual battle as beautifully portrayed in Psalm 18:

1.    Our worship to God
2.    Our call for help
3.    God declares war on Mighty Warrior
4.    God’s warring response to rescue you

>> Your Worship to God

First, your worship, praise, and delight in the Lord is strategic. No matter your situation, always first enter into your "sit place with Abba God" to worship Him for His nature and character, and in humble adoration of Him, praise Him who created you and loves you with His life and heart. In all your circumstances, worship and praise Him with everything within you as expressed by David,

“I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” — Psalm 18:2, NKJV

God delights in your worship as you honor Him. You can see the value of your thoughts in worship, praise, adoration, and exhortation of God. These will bring light, life, and peace when struggling in your difficult, dark times. David shares an example of how true thoughts, God thoughts, are like light. Your word is a lamp to my feet, And a light to my path (Psalms 119:11, 105 NKJV). Paul agrees with David and encourages you as well to use your words to Rejoice always, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16, 18, NIV).

>> Your 911 Call 

Second, God desires to hear your 911 calls, as I refer to them. He is waiting for them to act on your behalf. I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ear (Psalm 18:3-6 NIV).

Don't delay; express your thoughts and feelings to him; all your fears, insecurities, and struggles. He desires to fight for you. Remember: it is one thing to share your thoughts and feelings with God; it is another thing to come into agreement with them. God desires to hear your thoughts and heart and what you would like Him to do on your behalf.

>> God Declares War

Third, God desires to respond to your 911 call. He declares He is Mighty Warrior and greater is He than the enemy advancing towards you. Watch what He does when your call is patched through to Him.

God as Mighty Warrior declares war on the enemy on your behalf. As He hears your cries, Mighty Warrior parts the heavens and comes down, declaring war. The visual image of His warring presence on your behalf is nothing short of amazing! It is like an earthquake, a volcanic eruption, and a hail storm merging as one in His thundering declaration I AM GOD: there will be no other gods before me, and these children are MINE!

This is revealed to you by David in Psalm 18:7-15 (NIV).

“The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it. He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet. He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind. He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him— the dark rain clouds of the sky. Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning. The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy, with great bolts of lightning he routed them. The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at your rebuke, Lord, at the blast of breath from your nostrils.” — Psalm 18:7-15, NIV

It is important for you to remind yourself that God fights for you, wars for you. In His eternal love for you He desires to help you live your life in permanent liberation. He is not interested in partially "set free," as John says. The picture David shares is also confirmed by Isaiah as he states, I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name (Isaiah 45:2-3, NIV).

God is committed to your freedom from everything that challenges you. Hear His words, "I am Mighty Warrior. I am here to deliver and to fully rescue you because I delight in you." I will leave you with one thought: see the beauty and power of God's words and the freedom He wants to bring to your life. Only God's truthful words and thoughts have the power to do this. Lying thoughts bring death and destruction.

>> God’s Rescue Plan

Fourth, your Mighty Warrior fulfills His rescue plan for you without a hitch. He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me (Psalm 18:7-19, NIV). This is a picture of God's heart toward you, as He wars on your behalf.

Psalm 18 reflects the God of Light/Mighty Warrior as He descends from heaven in response to your call for help and mercy from the one who comes to kill, steal, and destroy you. He expresses Himself out of the brightness of his presence (v.12) declaring His awesome power over the forces of evil and darkness for the purposes of rescuing me from my powerful enemy who was too strong for me (v. 17). He delights in rescuing you (v. 18). Psalm 18 is also confirmed in Colossians 2:15, And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross (NIV). The cross, the shed blood of Jesus is where your deliverance is rooted. This is where every spirit of darkness is destroyed, demolished, and extinguished for you and me. 

Light of His Presence overcomes ALL darkness
His power triumphs over ALL evil
He delights in rescuing ALL His children
ALL influences of darkness disarmed by the cross

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the
Spirit of the Lord is, this is (ALL) freedom.
- 2 Corinthians 3:17, NIV

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Journey IN the Light

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As you position yourself in your sit place with God, hear Paul’s words: Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:17, 18, NIV).

It is wisdom to understand how the forces of darkness undermine the forces of Light as you journey towards freedom. Believing the lies of the dark spirits is the primary strategy Satan uses to pull you into darkness. Truth always guides you to the light. With this knowledge, you must remember: God is the Light Who is always greater than the powers of darkness. You should not underestimate their influence, but remember Light always rules over darkness.

Light is associated in Scripture with redemption, love, truth, grace, and mercy—everything associated with the goodness of God. It is God’s desire for you to come out from under the influence of darkness and step into the influence of His wonderful Light:

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” — 1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV)

John also reminds us that God is Light: He is the Light; in Him there is no darkness at all (I John 1:5). In His Light, you will experience healing, help, and the hope that you desperately need to live fully free, restored from past hurts and restored in all your relationships. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery [your thoughts in agreement with the lies of Satan] (Galatians 5:1, NIV).

>> Your Role as a Child of Light

It is time for you to consider your role and response as "children of Light." As you learned in Chapter Four from Your Grace Place, you are loved, valued, accepted, healed and forgiven. By choosing to live a holy, righteous, and pleasing life, you defy the enemy and all the forces of darkness. In response to the work God has done for you, by the works of Christ displayed at the cross, you come into agreement with God. Therefore, as a follower of Christ, you have been given authority by the cross of Christ to send spirits of darkness to the cross in Jesus' Name. There they are defeated and destroyed.

Paul speaks to this:

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” — 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, NIV

As the Holy Spirit of Truth reveals to your spirit the spirits of darkness that are influencing your life, you not only send them to the cross, but you invite the Spirit of Light to come where darkness has resided. For God has declared, You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light (1 Peter 2:9, NIV).

Then remain in agreement with the words of God to Saul on the Damascus road, I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me (Acts 26:17-18, NIV). Using the authority Christ has given you to take captive every thought positions you to enjoy the life God has designed for you.

This is your stance in your Grace position:  you are God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved... (Colossians 3:12, NIV). You must have nothing to do with any lie that comes against this truth, as declared by God to you. When the enemy comes with the lies: you are not lovable or you are unworthy or you are a failure, you can exchange that lie for truth based on the words and works of Christ. This is God's Grace which you must fully wrap your heart and mind around. It is a finished work that you must make good on in how you live your life. You live centered in His love and grace to you from your sit place with Abba God. All your life challenges get worked through from this loved center position - relationship.

This is your Truth position, as Paul declares to you:

“God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.” — 1 John 1:5-7, NIV

You either choose to believe the lie or the truth. As children of Light, by believing truth you are able to live out the truth in your beliefs, thoughts, behaviors, and relationships, which renders the enemy powerless. Paul encourages you in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to take every thought "captive" to make it agree with Christ. You must come into agreement and choose to no longer think and live as the world does, which is separated from the grace and truth of God in Christ Jesus.

This is your stance: live as children of Light. You are a child of Light, living out goodness, righteousness, truth, and we do what pleases the Lord (Ephesians 5:9, 10, NIV). Put selfishness to the cross in Jesus’ Name by the blood of the Lamb, and come under the influence of selflessness as Christ's example, choosing to be mindful of others, showing kindness and care for them. Always ask yourself, "What would love have me do?"

>> Vince’s Story

Vince, from his sit place, remembering the view from the lodge widow overlooking the majestic mountains of Colorado, pours out his heart to God. "God, it is time for me to take a stance against the enemy's lies and trust You. I trust that You love me, and from this loved place, I choose to no longer believe alcohol is greater than Your power. I choose to believe I can say no and say yes as appropriate. I no longer believe I am weak, but I am strong because Christ is in me. I choose to develop healthy relationships and financially make better decisions. I choose You and others to help me. No more secretive behaviors. I let You and others into those places I have been afraid to address. I will remain in Your loving presence to receive all the help I need."

As a child of Light, come into agreement with Paul's words, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:31, 32, NIV). This passage vividly expresses coming out from the realm of darkness into the realm of Light and the behaviors that follow. Thus your life will reflect the character of God in the fruit of His Spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” — Galatians 5:22-23, NIV

As a child of light, you create a lifestyle that forgives, shows kindness, acceptance, compassion, and does not allow anger in any of its forms to rule in your thoughts, behaviors, or relationships. This does not mean you don't set healthy boundaries. Healthy boundary setting is needed for healing and strong, connected relationships. Developing character as you understand the "fruit of the Spirit" is a daily endeavor, utilizing every opportunity to grow and mature. Choosing faithfulness to God, self, and others is vital to defy darkness and embrace the light. Remember you are on a journey growing within your relationship with God.

>> Let Love Define You

As a child of Light, let love define you! You cannot love apart from God’s love, which has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us (Romans 5:5, NIV). It is only as God pours His love into your heart that you can love as Children of Light. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV).

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Healing Plan

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There is great value in having a financial, health, or retirement plan to be prepared for the future. Most of us also want to be prepared for any unforeseen crisis that could occur, such as a job loss or serious health challenge. What we don’t prepare for in advance are the inevitable and sometimes devastating hurts and disappointments we will face during our lives. We tend, rather, to ignore the hurt and the pain and continue down the road or we get stuck in our emotions—neither response cares for the wound well. Thus, perhaps we can agree that a healing plan would be a great strategy for our personal lives to care for each of us daily or when any challenge enters into our world unexpectedly.  

God of All Comfort

Your hurts need the healing presence of Jesus. In our understanding of forgiveness, we see that God is a God of mercy, Who has forgiven all our sins, restored us to fellowship with Himself, and surrounded us with His favor through the sacrifice of His Son.  This same merciful God comes to you to as the God of all Comfort as expressed in the Scriptures: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV).

He first comes to offer you more grace to bring the comfort and compassion you need for your pain and deep hurts. When you share your hurts with Him, you will experience His attentiveness, affection, care, and comfort as He is present to you. Then you will listen to His healing words regarding your personal wounds and losses. His personal words will always match the Word of God and the principles of His Word. Though the difficult life experiences remain a part of your history, when you revisit them you will experience His healing presence of love and His personal words to you. "You will have a new way of remembering" your story, as the movie Saving Mr. Banks expressed. This time Jesus is present in your story, healing you as only He can.

Remember, this is a process. Healing your heart is a journey, not an overnight stay. Be faithful to the journey and stay as long as needed to receive the fullness of His healing. To revisit the sites of your injuries is often frightening; therefore, most do not choose to return there. This is understandable. But you must remember, you do not return there alone, as you may have experienced initially; now the Presence of Jesus returns with you. As you stop, listen to His kind, gentle voice, and with His strong, loving arms around you, He will heal your heart.

Carrie’s Story

Carrie struggled with her choices in college that led to her decision to have an abortion. She couldn't imagine being able to care for a child and continue college, much less work full-time. For her, it was her only option to stay on track with her life as she understood it. Now five years later, married and having given birth to her son, her abortion began to torment her. Having experienced giving birth, Carrie changed her view on abortion. Sleep deprivation and her ever-present self-defeating thoughts began to pull her even deeper into the dark realm of depression. Finally, she sought wise counsel with a therapist who helped her to exchange her self-defeating thoughts for truthful thoughts, decreasing her depression. Carrie began to make good on the grace of God, believing and receiving His Perfect Love, regardless of the abortion. She received forgiveness, and at the cross with Christ present, she received forgiveness for herself. She let herself off the hook and released herself from prison. Depression gradually relinquished its strong hold on her.

Carrie, with the help of her therapist, now embraces God’s comfort from her "sit place with Abba God," where she visualizes her last vacation in the gardens at Glorietta, New Mexico. She welcomes the Presence of Jesus to sit with her. Visualizing His strong, loving arms around her, tears streaming down her face, she shares all her tormenting thoughts and deep pain: "I am so sorry for taking another life. Please forgive me. Help me to forgive myself." Carrie listens to His voice, His thoughts highlighted to her:

"You are deeply loved, you are forgiven, there is no rejection or judgment, only My grace and acceptance to you."

She holds tightly to these two truths as she watches with the eyes of her heart, Abba God, opening up that dark wound, making a way for the pain to be released and extracted. Carrie observes the healing oil being poured in, all the while being held in His strong, loving arms.

She shares with her therapist, "I always feared I would be judged, rejected, and shamed by God; instead I experienced His acceptance, mercy, forgiveness, and love. I could never have imagined this would be a part of my story. I am so grateful Jesus visited me in my story." Then for her eyes only, she saw her child in the arms of God being loved by Him, smiling at her. For so long she had remembered her story with pain and shame; now she could remember it with God's healing presence, a new way of remembering. Carrie needed this healing to enjoy her marriage fully and love her newborn son with all her heart. She knew one day she would be able to share her story, her Jesus story.

Two Lies

Our culture is defined by two fundamental beliefs: the choices I make impact only me, and my needs are the only ones that matter. These beliefs are untrue. What hurts you often hurts many others. You are ruled by unseen forces that work through your selfishness and emotions, marring your life and the lives around you with deep wounds that often have life-long effects. I have yet to meet one person who has not been wounded by another's selfishness and wounded emotional state. I also believe that none of us would say we have not wounded another in our selfishness and emotional responses. Therefore, freedom is for what has happened to you and the choices you have made that have harmed yourself and others. 

Healed Hurt Model

The first step is to visualize your safe, loved place with Abba God, your "sit place." If you can go to your physical "sit place," you can invite Him there as well. Secondly, invite the Presence of Jesus to sit with you. Take a moment to wait for Him to come as your heart understands He is present to you. Don't rush. Be patient. When you believe He is present, continue to the next step. Third, share with Him your deep hurt from your story. Take the time to write in your journal about your hurt. Leave nothing out. Everything matters to God. He will listen as you pour out your heart to Him. You can trust Him to show care and comfort to you personally, as David expressed: Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge (Psalm 62:8, NIV).  Paul in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NKJV) agrees with David: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles.

His care and comfort can extract the pain from every wound. Sharing your hurt and receiving His care is a vital part to healing your heart. Fourth, as Abba God listens to you, pause, listening to His healing words to you. Begin writing the encouraging words He wants to share with you. His healing words will deliver you from your fears, heal your hurts, remove your shame, and give to you a radiance of joy and peace. You see Him and hear Him through the thoughts and pictures that come to your mind as you pray and listen to your heart. Sometimes we don’t trust what we hear or see, but you can trust Abba God to respond to you in a way you can understand. Fifth, it is imperative that you receive and believe what He speaks to you personally. This will secure His healing work in you for a lifetime.

David confirms God’s desire to heal your hurts when he says in Psalm 34:4-5, 15, 17-18 (NKJV): I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; the righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Grief Journey

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Grief comes into all of our lives, but is often not acknowledged or healed because there are greater demands on our time or the process seems too painful. But to do life well, it is important to pause as often and as long as you need to, to care for your sadness.

Grief is the emotional response to loss. Loss is more easily understood to be the result of death or divorce, but there are many other losses as well: the loss of friendship, the loss of childhood, the loss of trust in marriage, loss of jobs, as well as the loss of hope through unfulfilled personal desires. Where there is hurt, there is loss, and this loss must be acknowledged and grieved. God reminds us that He is here to help and will restore your heart. As David writes in the 23rd Psalm, He restores my soul (NKJV) (And David certainly experienced many losses!).

Visual Pictures of Grief

Vehicle: Grieving has sometimes been compared to driving a car. When grief has occurred it is important to look forward through the windshield, to continue as best as you can to do life forward functionally. At the same time, you must pay attention to the rear view mirror, looking backwards to feel those emotions your loss has generated and address the challenges you face as a result of your loss. So often we choose one or the other: living forward as though no loss occurred or backwards, getting stuck in our feelings, neglecting our present, daily responsibilities. To grieve well, it is important to do both simultaneously, living life moving forward as your present responsibilities demand and looking backward to care for your loss. Of course, grief is not a straightforward process; sometimes we are only able to “do” forward and sometimes we are better able to look back. The important point is to not get stuck in one or the other.

Waves: The emotions of grief are often experienced like waves. Waves come to shore as they please, with their own intensity and frequency. Waves also recede out to sea. Like these waves, grief emotions have their own flow in and out and their own intensity. By the way, waves do not take into consideration that you are at work, at the grocery store, in a meeting, or caring for any other daily responsibility. They just come! It is important that you remember: God is aware of and caring for your every emotion. He will come with each wave and be your Comfort, Refuge, and Strength. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all Comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3, NKJV). Remember to care for each wave of emotion from your "sit place with God.” Be intentional in sitting with God and if you are able, writing in your journal your thoughts and feelings.

Mountains. Here is another way to process your grief when it requires life changes. List your loss. If due to your loss, you are now challenged with loneliness, regret, financial distress, single parenting, anxiety, selling your home, moving, or sleep-deprivation, to name just a few, each one of them can seem like a mountain to climb. Label the mountains you need to climb and work through. It is also true that facing each mountain calls for different emotions from you. It is necessary to climb each mountain separately and care for the particular emotions as you integrate into your new life.

Isaiah encourages your heart with these words: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10, NIV). List what your new life will look like when you have climbed to the top of the mountain.

As you integrate into your new life take His help and the help of others to work through the loneliness, create a new financial plan, seek effective ways to manage single parenting, find the help needed to lower your anxiety, or get more quality sleep. Facing each of these mountains will help to rebuild your new life apart from your loss. It is never easy, but with God and others coming alongside, you can journey through your grief and step into your new life.

Grief and Emotions

Anger is an emotion that often shows its face on the grief journey. I encourage you to give it your attention. Feel it without judging or reacting to it. Take note what thoughts or images are connected to it. You can write these down in your journal. Then drop each one of these thoughts or mental pictures into the stream of God’s love. If you find that you are angry with God, share your feelings with Him. He can handle it. There is no judgment or condemnation from God for your feelings of anger.

Self-blame, regret, or guilt are often encountered on the grief journey. What did I do wrong to cause this to happen?  I must not have had enough faith or she would have been healed. There must be something wrong with me. I should have been able to do something. These thoughts must be taken to God in your sit place. Allow Him to speak truth to you, speak comfort to you, and take these thoughts away from you. It is also important to take yourself off the hook; if you need to, forgive yourself, as we discussed in chapter five.

Joy does not overcome your sadness; it only comes to care for you in your sadness. In due season, joy steps in front of sadness, but can never remove all the sadness of your loss. I believe grief is often a lifetime journey, depending on what your loss is. Sadness may always be present, but joy will carry you alongside your sadness throughout your life. Your intimacy with God, sharing with Him all your thoughts and feelings, will always help you in your time of need. These are His truthful words to you: You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy (John 16:20, NKJV). David reminds you of this truth: Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalms 30:5, NKJV). 

A Word to Those in Relationship with Someone on a Grieving Journey

Offer comfort in the form of a hug if the person is open to it. Speak words such as, "I am very sorry this has happened to you." Just sit with them and listen to them. Do not offer solutions. Do not say, "I understand what you are feeling," if you have not felt this loss yourself. There are many variables to each loss.  Do not ask, "What can I do for you?" They are feeling overwhelmed and may not be able to put their finger on what they need. Be sensitive, attentive, and observant of what their needs are. Call them, invite them for lunch, or ask what errands you could do for them. Be mindful of important dates and holidays or events on their grief journey: birthday, anniversary, date of death, child's birth date, or special occasions. Ask them what dates or memorable events are important to them. Then write them down to remember them on those dates. Check in often. Not just for a few weeks, or several months, but in some cases several years or a lifetime depending on the loss.

Remember: every person will grieve differently; there is no universal timetable or formula. Journaling can be very helpful in processing your grief. In God’s Presence, you can write down—or shout out!--your uncensored thoughts and feelings. Then wait to hear His comforting words to you. Write these words in your journal, too, so that you begin to build a record of God’s grace and comfort to you. You can return to that record when you feel the waves washing over you.

The Importance of Thanksgiving

In the midst of loss and grief, thanking God and praising God seems counter-intuitive, but this action and attitude of the heart is vital for your healing. Paul says, Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (I Thessalonians 5:16-18, NKJV). You are not thanking God for the loss, for what happened to you, but you are thanking Him for Who He is. For all that He has done for you. And for all that He will do for you in your future. Giving thanks when your world is turned upside down is no easy task, but it will strengthen you when everything seems impossible or overwhelming.

Finally, there are many questions we do not know the answer to—why did God allow my husband to develop cancer? Why didn’t he heal him? Why did God allow my daughter to be killed in a car accident? Where was God when my father was molesting me? We live in a fallen world, where terrible things happen. There is no easy answer as to why God seems to allow hurt and suffering. But in the end we must come back to the foundational truth that God loves us with an everlasting love. And that He will work all things to the good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Come to Him and let Him show His comfort and compassion to you as you begin your grief journey.

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Grace Place

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Grace is a gift from God to you. It is often defined as God’s unmerited favor. God’s grace demands nothing from you, but to believe and receive how deeply He loves you. Grace, partnering with Truth, is nothing short of revolutionary!

Grace is one of the most misunderstood and misrepresented truths. Grace is not permissiveness about sin—do your own thing, flippantly say I‘m sorry, and then repeat the pattern. Nor do you receive Grace as a result of your own efforts or Christian practices. 

“The law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” — John 1:17, NKJV

If your efforts are not needed, how then do you receive this gift of love, the undeserved favor of God?  I hope you are asking this question because the answer is vital to your understanding of Grace.

>> Grace Defined

God sacrificially gave His One and Only Son, Jesus, who had no sin, to pay the price for your sin. Jesus took the punishment for our wrongdoing so you and I can come before God without condemnation.

“All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” — Romans 3:23, NIV

Paul confirms this truth: For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21, NLT). This is the only way you can enter into the presence of God, for God is holy and just and cannot look upon sin without judgment. He sent His own Son to die upon a cross to bear your rightful punishment, so you could come before Him without blame.  

The prophet Isaiah states: There is no other God but me, a just God and a Savior (Isaiah 45:21, NKJV). As Bible teacher Derek Prince once explained:

God’s justice and God’s mercy are like two sides of one coin. On one side is God’s justice and on the other is His mercy. God’s justice is an absolute standard: it is objective, judging everyone impartially; and it is exact, that is, unvarying in its demand for perfect righteousness. God’s perfect justice does not allow for “pretty close” or thinking you are “more righteous” than someone else. God’s justice is unvarying and perfect: you and I do not want God’s justice."

But the other side of the coin is God’s mercy. Because sin entered the world and therefore entered every one of us, God knew we would fall far short of holiness. You and I will never be able to live perfectly, no matter how hard we try. So God Himself provided the solution; in Jesus Christ you have a Savior who has satisfied the perfect standard of God’s justice

“[He] Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sin, might live for righteousness.” — 1 Peter 2: 24, NKJV.

In Him we have mercy. As the scripture says, Mercy and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed (Psalm 85:10, NKJ V). And because Jesus has satisfied his Father’s justice, by taking upon Himself our punishment, we can come boldly unto his throne of grace in time of need. - Hebrews 4:16.

Now that we have defined grace, how do we receive it?

>> Grace Received

Of all the major religions in the world, only Christianity declares that God’s love is unconditional. The Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, and Muslims all offer a way to earn approval. The Bible clearly teaches that God’s grace is unconditional, but it also teaches you that you are responsible for determining how much grace you walk in. In James 4:6, James says, But he gives more grace. Therefore, he says, God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. The key to walking in Grace is to learn how to humble yourself.

How do you humble yourself? There are many ways you can humble yourself: when you walk gratefully before God, grace flows from your thanksgiving. When you give sacrificially, whether it be your time, talent, or treasure, grace flows from your giving. The third and most difficult way of humbling yourself is to forgive and bless those who have wounded you, including self.

>> First Dimension of Grace

With these truths in place, I want you to reflect on Grace within its two life-giving dimensions: the Grace that does for you that which you cannot do for yourself, and then the grace God gives you to do that which only you can do in response. These are two separate facets, but linked by the initiative of God's great love to you and your love response to Him. You are fully loved and accepted apart from any of your doings, but you are free to choose to love Him back and obey Him.

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.” — John 15:9, 10 NKJV.

If Jesus gave you His life as expressed by John, This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us (I John 3:16, NKJV). How could you not love Him back in your obedience? Let your thoughts meditate on this. Just remember it is not love if forced against your will. Therefore, God loves you unconditionally. Yet, He desires that you love Him back. This is also true in your human relationships. You can love others, but you cannot force them to love you back. You can desire their love, but it is important to free them up to love you back in their choosing.

Most of us have been so conditioned to "performance love” that we cannot really embrace the possibility that no matter how I choose to live my life, Grace in the love of God is always present; that He loves me with no strings attached. Because of your conditioning, you become resistant and revert back to trying to earn the love of God or doing something to deserve that love. But that is the good news of the gospel. God does not ask you to change or do anything before He loves you. He does not ask you to change or do anything to keep on loving you. He chooses to love you, His Grace fully capturing you, that then and only then, your response would be to love Him back with the Grace He gives to you.

Even Merriam-Webster's defines grace as effortless beauty, ease of movement, pleasing quality, favor, divine love and protection, virtue, and strength to choose to do all that is required of you. All of these are found in God's Grace. Here are a few examples of embracing the beauty of Grace. May they find their way to your understanding:  Grace requires nothing of you but believing truthfully and receiving fully His Grace. I want to remind you that this is the result of God's sacrificial love of His Son that you can welcome this Grace. And then respond back in love with your obedience.

>> The Beauty of Grace

You receive Grace in its effortless beauty like welcoming the morning fresh air on a brisk walk. There is no work involved. There is only breathing deeply the air of His great, eternal love into your lungs and hearts.

You receive Grace in its ease of movement like welcoming a tender, nurturing embrace of a loving mother. There is no work involved. There is only the receiving of all the favor and good in nurture that comes from His affectionate care for your heart.

You receive Grace in all its divine work as the loving kindness and protectiveness of a father watching over his little brood. There is no work involved. There is only you enjoying the protective care and strong, loving arms of Abba God.

Grace in its greater beauty is receiving Christ the Gift, the treasure from The Lord. There is no work involved. There is only believing the truth and receiving the gift of Grace in Christ Jesus in all of His glory that is revealed in your eternal belonging to Him, and being loved by Him.

Grace in all its strength is giving His Grace-sufficiency for your weakness. In this Grace, there is the work of joining His Grace with your will. There is only the beauty of strength in partnering with Grace to do what pleases Him, loving Him back in your obedience. All of these aspects of Grace are what God does for you, without your effort.

>> Second Dimension of Grace

The second dimension of Grace is receiving His Grace to do what only you can do. You choose to respond in obedience, aligning your will with His Grace. To begin this grace relationship, it is imperative that you center yourself from the position of "He is my all-sufficient Grace:” By the grace of God I am what I am (I Corinthians 15:10, NKJV).  From this center, you build a strong, personal relationship based on the words and works of Christ. There is nothing of yourself, only what He has done for you.

>> Grace Model

God designed that your first understanding of grace would be within the family structure. The love you receive from your parents, apart from your behavior, would be your first experience of grace to yourself. Family love is to be a representation of God's love and grace to you. The love parents are intended to express to their children is not performance based, but love for the child as a person, a human being. Children believe and receive this love and grow up in this nurturing realm of loving parents. Like the unconditional love of God, there is no fear of loss of that love.

Because of human nature, however, parents’ love is conditional. But by the grace of God, parents still choose to love their children as unconditionally as possible. They offer a grace realm that their children can trust and grow in, believing this grace will always be present, no matter their choices or behaviors. God desires that children would feel loved, valued, secure, safe, accepted, forgiven, and experience trustworthiness within the parent-child relationship. This experience was meant to create a sense of belonging, centering them in grace.

This plan of God is challenged when grace moves from a focus on loving the person to behavior-based love. Children naturally desire to perform, please, perfect, and pretend within their childish imagination. It is worth noting here that your human nature does come with tendencies of selfishness and rebellion. But for my purposes here I want to focus on the problem that occurs when parents do not separate love/acceptance for the child apart from his or her behaviors. Children then move from childhood to adulthood with the perception: “my performance equals my acceptance.” And as a society, within our schools, churches, work places, and other organizations, the pattern of performance continues to be deeply entrenched into adulthood.

Thus the belief system becomes ingrained that "pleasing performance" is required even if I have to pretend and is what provides the love and acceptance desired. The final stage in this process occurs when the child transfers what he or she has learned from his parents to God: “God’s acceptance of me is based on my performance.” This belief is easily accepted: to get God to love me, I must keep on perfecting, performing, pleasing, and pretending. This pattern of thinking directs all of your other relationships as well. Therefore, all of your life experiences are filtered through a ME filter. Being loved and accepted is all about Me perfecting, Me pleasing, Me performing, and Me pretending.

It is imperative for the ME filter to be replaced with the HE LOVES ME Grace filter. All of your experiences and challenges need to be filtered through the truth of “He Loves Me." Remember that this love is centered in God's sacrifice of His Son which has secured for you an intimate relationship with Him. Within this grace relationship, He will redeem and restore you; making you strong, secure, steady, and sure. He gives you grace to believe truthfully, to forgive, to invite Him into every hurt, to grieve your losses, and to daily invite God into your life journey with all the struggles and challenges it brings with it.

Dr. Roselene Coblentz

Your Gift of Forgiveness

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Forgiveness is one of the most powerful experiences of God’s grace and healing, and opens the door to greater intimacy with Him and others. From your "sit place with Abba God" let us consider your beliefs about forgiveness, why you need to forgive, who you need to forgive, and how.

The Truth about Forgiveness

As always, you must approach forgiveness from the foundation of truth.  What does God’s word tell us about forgiveness? First, you have been forgiven by God. All have sinned, Paul tells us in Romans 3:23, or as John says, If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us (1 John1:8, NKJV). Remember, God is holy and just, He cannot look on our sin without judgment. But because of His great love, God provided a way to satisfy His own justice: He sent to earth His Son, who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness (1 Pet. 2:24, NKJV).

I pray you will give much thought to this precious truth: your forgiveness is only possible because of Christ's shed blood for you. God has cleansed, washed, and sanctified you by the blood of Jesus, opening the way for you to enter into fellowship with God. As you daily embrace His forgiveness by the blood of the Lamb, you will begin to find healing for your heart and also begin the journey to forgiving others.

How does your forgiveness tie in to forgiving those who have wounded you?  

Again, we must turn to Scripture for truth. Paul writes in Colossians, Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col 3:13, NIV). Or this passage from Ephesians, Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32, NIV).  God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:19, NIV).

Why is Forgiveness So Difficult?

The scriptural requirement is plain—why then is forgiveness often so difficult?

The answer is two-fold. First, because you and I believe that the wrong deserves punishment; we cannot just let this person “off the hook.” Forgiving the person seems to be letting him or her off scot-free. He doesn’t deserve to get away with that! She doesn’t deserve to get off so easily!  In other words, we have set ourselves up as their judge. Do not misunderstand me—the wrongs some of us experienced have been very grievous indeed, and we have suffered deeply as a result. But Scripture does not say there is a sliding scale of forgiveness. We are called to forgive everyone who has harmed us. When we hang on to the sense of grievance we feel, it isn’t long before the resentment turns into bitterness. Scripture is also clear about what happens to us when bitterness takes hold in our lives. The writer of Hebrews says, See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many (Hebrews 12:15, NIV). At the root of bitterness is a longing for revenge. Scripture responds to this human impulse as well: Beloved, do not avenge yourselves…for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord’…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans12:19, NKJV).

Be reminded that grace flows more freely in our lives when we humble ourselves. Forgiving requires such a humbling.  You must lay aside your demand for punishment and submit to God’s word to forgive. Releasing that person who has harmed you will bring you release.  And it also will release a flow of God’s grace in your life you have not yet experienced. Failure to do so, to harbor bitterness instead, will impede God’s grace and imprison you. That’s why Scripture says, Those who are kind benefit themselves (Proverbs 11:17a, NIV).

Another reason why forgiveness is often difficult is that forgiveness involves facing the hurt you have experienced. Denying or repressing the hurt is not the same thing as forgiveness, nor is pretending that what happened is “no big deal.”  Usually these hurts have only gone underground where they are still causing pain and anger and even self-pity. These feelings are often expressed in hurtful behaviors towards others. So true forgiveness means facing the often painful reality of what was done to you—or perhaps what you did to another. God gives grace for this part of the process as well.

Forgiveness is a choice. When you choose to forgive, your decision releases the grace of God to flow in that situation. I encourage you, in your "sit place with God," to humble yourself before God, acknowledge those people you need to forgive, and receive His grace, attaching your will to forgive them.

You may also need to forgive yourself.  God does not want you to be “on the hook” either.  In your sit place with Abba God, tell him what you need to be forgiven for, and you will receive His gracious forgiveness.

Forgiving God

I cannot pass on here without saying that the trail of our unforgiveness often leads to God Himself. Though many of us would not admit this, because we do love God, deep in our hearts we often hold Him responsible for what happened to us—for allowing that hurtful or even evil thing to occur, to blight our lives.  Where were you, God?  There is not room enough here, of course, to take on the subject of why God allows suffering, and there are no easy answers.  You may need to “forgive” God.  Tell Him that right now you do not understand why He let that happen to you, but you forgive Him for what seems like a terrible injustice.  Acknowledge that you cannot fully understand His purposes, but what happened hurt you deeply.  Tell Him that you want to lay down your anger towards Him and receive His love.

A Practical Way to Walk Out Forgiveness

In your journal, write down:

•     Whom do I need to forgive?  
•     Do I need to include myself? 
•     What do I need to forgive them or myself for?

Then meet with Jesus at the cross, and with the gift of His grace, choose to forgive anyone who has hurt you and you know you have not forgiven. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you any unforgiveness you may be harboring unconsciously. 

Meet with Jesus and the person who has hurt you at the foot of the cross.  With God's grace, offer forgiveness to that person. Therefore, in the presence of Christ, say: “I forgive you, _________ (filling in the blank).”

The cross is also a grace place where you can go to seek forgiveness for what you have done. “Please forgive me for _________ (filling in the blank).”

It is essential to note here: forgiveness and trust are very separate issues. Where trust has been broken, it has to be restored to continue to do relationship with that individual. Therefore, you can forgive and still not choose to have relationship when trust has not been restored. You can also forgive, though the other may not acknowledge his or her wrong. 

Finally, R. T. Kendall, in his book Total Forgiveness, says forgiveness is not complete until we can bless our “enemies.” So the last and most powerful step of your forgiveness journey is to ask God to bless the one who has wounded you.  Great grace will be yours in return.

Dr. Roselene Coblentz